One year ago, I couldn't see a future and I was scared to go to sleep because I didn't think I would wake up. Unfortunately, due to a series of events that were happening around me, I was in a place that I had never been before. I felt weak and alone. I started to go to church to try to find peace by building a relationship with God. I was emotional and felt lost, after a few months of feeling this way and only getting worst I went to the doctors. This in it's self was very difficult, I had to admit to someone else that I was loosing control and needed help. I went to the appointment to get medication for my depression but was very hesitant to take it. So after another week of feeling this way, I decided to give the medicine a chance. I also started to see a counselor weekly.
After a few weeks of both the medication and counseling I started to slowly feel like myself again. However, I lost my self confidence. I questioned many things, one was if I would be able to add to my busy schedule, taking my daughter to cheer practice 4 times a week. Things that I would normally adjust to and not stress about, had be in fear and self doubt. I can say that I was able to change my evening routine and add taking my daughter to cheer practice, I became the cheer mom and towards the end had to step in and help the girls finish their season.
I continued my medication and counseling, I started to feel better and in a happier place, I was taking it one day at a time.
One day at work I was talking to a co-supervisor, who mentioned that she was applying for Cal State East Bay for fall 2019. I told her that I had my all my units to transfer but stopped going 11 years ago and hadn't gone back. She asked, "why not?" I came up with many reasons as I always did and had done repeatedly for the last 5 years. I went back to my desk and thought, "why not?" I had always had reasons like I didn't have the money, my kids were young, not enough time, but really it was because I was scared and didn't want to fail. It was that moment that I thought to myself and said enough of the excuses, I will apply and if I get accepted it was meant to be and I will try. I wanted it for myself and to show my daughters that college is important. I wanted to show them how hard I will have to work to accomplish my goal, graduating with a Bachelors of Science.
I applied for Cal State East Bay and decided to take a few classes at Los Medanos College to get back into the student mode.
Yesterday, Monday, January 28, 2019 I started my first semester back to school after a 11 year break and received my Conditional Acceptance for Cal State East Bay. I can now see a future, my future and I am excited for this new journey.
